Despatch Eight
The story so far:
Tatiana is employed by a Oleg, a Russian oligarch exiled at sea on his yacht the Flying Dutchman (Letushchy Golandets, Letgo for short). Her job is to brief him on all aspects of British life pending his arrival in London. Oleg and his wife Natalya (Natasha) have a son Nicholas (Kolya)who is down for Eton. Tatiana has a bodyguard Alexander (Sasha) with whom she recently had to flee to a safe house in a remote part of Scotland. Due to difficulties with the bank, which has frozen Oleg’s account, Tatiana has had to let the basement of her house in London and Sasha has got a job as a roadie until Christmas with a touring theatre company...
Tues Oct 10
Back in London, to the merry sound of angle grinder on stone: three neighbouring houses are being done up by Poles and Ukrainians. Sasha keeps a low profile for obvious historical reasons, finding himself - a lone former Russian soldier - in the wrong place at the wrong time amidst such a welter of former client statespersons. The Indian summer continues; the quinces are golden, some now even rotting, on the tree overhanging the garden. You asked me for more chapter and verse regarding my stay in Cheltenham. Well, Olly, I did not spend your money on spa treatments or gambling. I have the ticket stubs (enclosed) to prove that I attended no less than seven events. I did not wish to bore you with great detail, but since you ask I will give you a short account of each. The first I chose on the Friday afternoon (there are several events to chose from at every hour of the day for a fortnight) was Juliet Nicolson. Ms Nicolson is the scion of an artistic family, her grandparents being Harold Nicolson and Virginia Woolf, and her father a notable painter Ben. The theme of her book is social conditions in England seen through the experiences of various representatives from different walks of life from May to October 1911. Ms Nicolson was charming but nervous - it is her first book. She was wearing a very pretty patterned dress with a fashionable ‘handkerchief’ hem, layered over a camisole and with a cardigan, all in shades of sludge or putty. My only criticism of her outfit is her tights, which were also a khaki colour and to my mind …but I digress. The following day, Saturday, I started with Gavin Stamp a more experienced orator who gave a lively account of the war memorials on the Western Front of the Great War 1914-18. Mr Stamp is an architect, and on this showing could go on a short list for your proposed mansion in that land you have in Scotland. Incidentally, I understand from the taxi driver who took us to our hotel that Cheltenham was largely built by senior army officers from India who retired there in the past century. Then came Lady Antonia Fraser, who was introduced as ‘uniquely well equipped’ to describe the characters and careers of the mistresses of Louis XIV of France. For some reason the audience found that remark very amusing and laughed knowingly as did Lady Fraser herself, who is a large blonde person. She may have been married at one time to Harold Nicolson, because she explained that when she decided to ditch a previous book project on the history of Ireland, she said to her husband: ‘Harold, I’ve binned the Boyne’. After that, I went to hear a young Conservative MP called Michael Gove speak about the threat from militant Islam. A former Foreign Minister of Britain, Jack Straw, has recently provoked a public debate on the wearing by Muslim women of the veil. Mr Gove comes from the sinister wing of the Conservative Party, in the tradition of another Michael, the former leader of the party, M. Howard. Then I attended an illustrated talk by two ladies on the sculptor Rodin, the subject of a retrospective exhibition at the Royal Academy while Sasha sat in on his former colleague’s presentation on conditions in Afghan prisons. On Sunday morning early I attended a talk by the former head of the British home security service, which is like our Border Police, OGPU and the NKVD. You may wish to short list this lady, Stella Rimington, to run your own protection squad when you come ashore. Lastly there was a comedy double act called Jenkins and Benn, bantering about political philosophy. Simon Jenkins is a Marxist and T. Benn is a Leveller. I am off to Knightsbridge now to show my identity card to the bank.
The copyright and all other rights in this blog and the characters featured in it belong to Tatiana Larin-Gremin, and they may not be copied, adapted or otherwise used without her agreement.
Tatiana is employed by a Oleg, a Russian oligarch exiled at sea on his yacht the Flying Dutchman (Letushchy Golandets, Letgo for short). Her job is to brief him on all aspects of British life pending his arrival in London. Oleg and his wife Natalya (Natasha) have a son Nicholas (Kolya)who is down for Eton. Tatiana has a bodyguard Alexander (Sasha) with whom she recently had to flee to a safe house in a remote part of Scotland. Due to difficulties with the bank, which has frozen Oleg’s account, Tatiana has had to let the basement of her house in London and Sasha has got a job as a roadie until Christmas with a touring theatre company...
Tues Oct 10
Back in London, to the merry sound of angle grinder on stone: three neighbouring houses are being done up by Poles and Ukrainians. Sasha keeps a low profile for obvious historical reasons, finding himself - a lone former Russian soldier - in the wrong place at the wrong time amidst such a welter of former client statespersons. The Indian summer continues; the quinces are golden, some now even rotting, on the tree overhanging the garden. You asked me for more chapter and verse regarding my stay in Cheltenham. Well, Olly, I did not spend your money on spa treatments or gambling. I have the ticket stubs (enclosed) to prove that I attended no less than seven events. I did not wish to bore you with great detail, but since you ask I will give you a short account of each. The first I chose on the Friday afternoon (there are several events to chose from at every hour of the day for a fortnight) was Juliet Nicolson. Ms Nicolson is the scion of an artistic family, her grandparents being Harold Nicolson and Virginia Woolf, and her father a notable painter Ben. The theme of her book is social conditions in England seen through the experiences of various representatives from different walks of life from May to October 1911. Ms Nicolson was charming but nervous - it is her first book. She was wearing a very pretty patterned dress with a fashionable ‘handkerchief’ hem, layered over a camisole and with a cardigan, all in shades of sludge or putty. My only criticism of her outfit is her tights, which were also a khaki colour and to my mind …but I digress. The following day, Saturday, I started with Gavin Stamp a more experienced orator who gave a lively account of the war memorials on the Western Front of the Great War 1914-18. Mr Stamp is an architect, and on this showing could go on a short list for your proposed mansion in that land you have in Scotland. Incidentally, I understand from the taxi driver who took us to our hotel that Cheltenham was largely built by senior army officers from India who retired there in the past century. Then came Lady Antonia Fraser, who was introduced as ‘uniquely well equipped’ to describe the characters and careers of the mistresses of Louis XIV of France. For some reason the audience found that remark very amusing and laughed knowingly as did Lady Fraser herself, who is a large blonde person. She may have been married at one time to Harold Nicolson, because she explained that when she decided to ditch a previous book project on the history of Ireland, she said to her husband: ‘Harold, I’ve binned the Boyne’. After that, I went to hear a young Conservative MP called Michael Gove speak about the threat from militant Islam. A former Foreign Minister of Britain, Jack Straw, has recently provoked a public debate on the wearing by Muslim women of the veil. Mr Gove comes from the sinister wing of the Conservative Party, in the tradition of another Michael, the former leader of the party, M. Howard. Then I attended an illustrated talk by two ladies on the sculptor Rodin, the subject of a retrospective exhibition at the Royal Academy while Sasha sat in on his former colleague’s presentation on conditions in Afghan prisons. On Sunday morning early I attended a talk by the former head of the British home security service, which is like our Border Police, OGPU and the NKVD. You may wish to short list this lady, Stella Rimington, to run your own protection squad when you come ashore. Lastly there was a comedy double act called Jenkins and Benn, bantering about political philosophy. Simon Jenkins is a Marxist and T. Benn is a Leveller. I am off to Knightsbridge now to show my identity card to the bank.
The copyright and all other rights in this blog and the characters featured in it belong to Tatiana Larin-Gremin, and they may not be copied, adapted or otherwise used without her agreement.
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