Despatch Four
Tatiana is employed by a Oleg, a Russian oligarch exiled at sea on his yacht the Flying Dutchman (Letushchy Golandets, Letgo for short). Her job is to brief him on all aspects of British life pending his arrival in London. Oleg and his wife Natalya (Natasha) have a son Nicholas (Kolya)who is down for Eton. Tatiana has a bodyguard Alexander (Sasha) with whom she recently had to flee to a safe house in a remote part of Scotland. Due to difficulties with the bank, which has frozen Oleg’s account, Tatiana has had to let the basement of her house in London and Sasha has got a job as a roadie until Christmas with a touring theatre company...
Dear Olly, Thank you so much for sending the apples from your estate in Tula, or was it Kolomna?. They are much tastier than the ones sold in the supermarkets here. I cut one up immediately and floated a piece in my tea, the way Uncle Vanya used to, sitting in the garden at his dacha during those golden autumn afternoons. The English put milk in their tea which spoils the flavour in my view. There is a difference of opinion about whether to put the milk in first or last. There is some social significance in this preference. I will elaborate when I have had time to study this phenomenon more closely. Did you know that the English (or British as G. Brown prefers to call them) are all descended from a Spanish tribe? This is according to a recent analysis of their DNA. It explains why, alone in the world, the Spanish and the English have a ‘th’ sound in their language. Tho there.
Dear Oleg Ivanovich
How was I to know that there was something concealed in one of the apples? When your man called to collect it, whatever it was, it turned out to have been in the very one I had cut up and put in my tea. I thought that little black spot was a maggot egg.
Yours sincerely,
Tatiana Larin-Gremin
Olya! Olyusha! What do you mean, it wasn’t your man? I must say, I did think he was a bit rude, barging past me in the entrance hall and throwing all the apples out of the bowl and bashing them to bits with a hammer.
Dear Ol, I do not want to sound ungrateful, but I must stress that when I agreed to be your eyes and ears in London, I had no intention of getting mixed up in your business affairs, other than briefing you on the English and keeping a lookout for investment opportunities. Thank you, anyway, for your man Sasha, who got here shortly after the False Dimitri. He has now taken up residence in the basement. Must I cancel my visit to Scotland, or can I take him with me?
A Safe House in Scotland
Well, this is rather like being at home. We are in a dacha surrounded by conifers. Sasha has pitched his tent somewhere in the forest, and is going to try and shoot something for supper with his AK49. He says we are to lie low here for a few days until the apple affair (code named Snow White) has been sorted out in London. Please remember the house is rented and we will have to pay for any damage eg bloodstains or broken furniture.
The copyright and all other rights in this blog and the characters featured in it belong to Tatiana Larin-Gremin, and they may not be copied, adapted or otherwise used without her agreement.
<< Home